The knee had a really good week. The swelling finally went down and I was crutchless and relatively pain-free every day. I noticed; however, that whenever I praise the knee on social media, it backlashes. That being said, this is the only paragraph the knee gets this week.
I was in a celebratory mood so I was tickled pink to see that I had been invited to an "event" via facebook. Interestingly enough, as I read through the invite, promising "Oktoberfest beers of the world and bratwurst," it occurred to me that this party was being held at my house! Yep, Ev had planned a shindig. Good on Ev. We built our current house with a fabulous basement bar, with every intention to put that bar to good use as frequently as possible. Unfortunately, the knee put a damper on that plan, and to be honest, given the long flight of stairs, I've probably been in our basement less than 5 times in the last year. Squatters could be living down there, watching my big screen TV and drinking my booze from the lovely boozy carousel for all I know. It's definitely time to start realizing the full potential of that basement bar.
Since Oktoberfest was the theme, there was a beers of the world beer tasting contest, lots of bratwurst and sausage, and cheese fondue. I was in charge of the cheese fondue. I envisioned the occasional stir throughout the evening, but was shocked to find that cheese fondue supervision is a actually high maintenance activity. The flame was too high - the cheese began to separate. The flame was too low - the cheese began to clump. As I scurried back and forth trying to keep the fricken cheese happy, I commented to a friend, "man, it's just like having a baby." Haha. I could tell by the look she gave me that no, it was actually nothing like having a baby. We had a good laugh and it occurred to me that although I can imagine what it is like to have children, I truly have no idea.
Ev and I do not have kids. Things may change - I can't see the future, but today, we do not have kids. When we first got married, people would nag us constantly, "When are you having kids?" "Better get to it!" or the most cringeworthy question, "Are you trying?" - Um, you just asked me if I am having unprotected sex. Awkward. And then I noticed some people were just downright mean, actually trying to scare us into having kids? Not having kids? I didn't get it. "Oh, you better enjoy sleeping now because once you have kids, that'll all change!" "Oh, must be nice to work out and get your hair done, just wait - once you have kids you will have no time for yourself!" Well, gosh, that doesn't inspire me to "start trying."
Now that we're well into our 30's, most of our friends have young families. And although I can definitely see that our day-to-day lives are very different, we can certainly all get together, have a great time, and still have plenty to chat about. Sometimes I feel like there's this club that everyone belongs to except for Ev and I. As I sit back and listen to moms discuss the art of potty training, I nod and smile and have absolutely nothing to contribute other than sharing stories about changing cat litter (fyi: people with kids don't appreciate your comparison of your 10 year old cat's bowel movements to their 2 year old child). But, for the most part, I take it all in, consider what life could be like with children, and continue to enjoy my quiet life with Ev and the animals. As an outsider to this world, I observe how unbelievably frustrating and difficult it is to raise these little people, but I also see how much love and pride people have for their own children. Although I love my animals and Evan more than words can express, I really don't know what it feels like to love my own child. But, today, I'm ok with that.
One thing I've come to learn is that people with children require a lot of notice before they can leave the house. It kind of annoyed me and I didn't really get it until I watched my sister attempt to wrangle one of her children to the door after a visit with aunty Kirstie. Keep in mind, this was 1 child! I can only imagine what 2...or even 3 would be like!!!! As I watched in dismay, I couldn't help but recall an instance in University when I had to remove my drunk buddy from a bar. It looked like this:
Bartender: "Is that your friend? (pointing at drunk buddy who just dropped and broke glass bottle) You need to get him out of here."
Me: "Drunk buddy, let's go. You've had a good night, but it's time to go now."
Drunk Buddy: "NOOOOOO. I'm having so much fun. I don't want to leave!"
Me: "You're breaking shit. Let's go."
Drunk Buddy: "K, but I'm going to the bathroom first."
(wait outside bathroom for drunk buddy. 30 minutes later find him on floor playing with something he found on floor)
Me: "What are you doing? Put that down! That's gross. Come on!"
Drunk Buddy: "But I can't get my coat on!" (has head in sleeve)
(help drunk buddy get coat on...then help drunk buddy put shoes on correct feet. Finally get drunk buddy to door while attempting to remain calm and patient.)
Drunk Buddy: "I'm just gonna go get something that I left in the bathroom"
Me: (now pulling out stern voice) "Hurry up. You've overstayed your welcome here - they won't let you back in here if you keep acting like this!"
15 minutes later Drunk Buddy emerges from bathroom with his hat.
Drunk Buddy: "See, I told you I left something behind."
Me: "Ok, time for you to go to bed. Let's go."
Drunk Buddy: "But I'm soooooo hungry! I need to eat now."
Me: "Well I'm just never taking you out again if this is how you act!"
Ok, now go back, re-read that script, but change location to Aunty's house, change "me" to "mom," and wherever it says "Drunk Buddy," insert "3 year old child."
And that is why people with children require a lot of notice before leaving the house. I get it now. If you have children and are running behind today, that's totally cool with me.
This comedy sketch is hilarious - I think both people with and without children will appreciate the humour in it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFQfylQ2Jgg
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