Happy Halloween!

Since we last chatted, the knee became very angry, swelled up, and I was ordered back on the damn crutch. I've been on physio rest for a week and, I'm not gonna lie, it's been a bummer. In fact, I may or may not have consumed 30-some mini chocolate bars whilst wallowing in my self-pity last night on my couch...and due to excessive sugar intake, I may or may not have had to wear my glasses for the last few days because my eyes were too swollen to wear contacts. But Dr. M says this knee reaction is "normal." The knee will go through some rough phases - I've named this phase "the angry teenager" because the knee is overly sensitive, overreactive, and bitchy - just like I was during those horrible teen years. If the knee starts stealing/refilling my vodka bottles with water then we are done. Done!

But...it is one of my favorite days of the year today so screw the knee - let's discuss Halloween!

Halloween is such a great time of year. I love being someone different for a day and I enjoy seeing people's creativity shine. Yay for original costumes!

I do have one Halloween pet peeve, however. My H'ween pet peeve is....the sexy costume. You know - "sexy insert any person or object here"

Fine. If you're dressed up as a person who is just naturally sexy (like Britney Spears or Brad Pitt) then you go for it. You be sexy!

If you; however, are sexifying your costume to fulfill some void - sexy maid, sexy devil, sexy angel, sexy cat etc, then, sorry, but you kinda suck. You are not creative. You are abusing this special day and are simply looking for an excuse to dress like a skank. Not cool in my books. But perhaps I'm biased because I've never been able or confident enough to pull off the "sexy" look.

I didn't realize the extent of the sexy H'ween costume until I attended a H'ween dance a few years ago. I was super pumped about my costume that year. Check it out:

"What the hell are you?" you're asking. Why I am a "party in my pants," of course. See? Giant pants full of party paraphernalia? Kinda brilliant, no? As I attempted to dance (with balloons overflowing out of my ass) next to sexy vampires, sexy nurses, sexy cops, and...what? Is that a sexy slice of pizza? (You've got to be kidding me!), it occurred to me that Halloween had turned into a skankfest. Brutal.

Ok, I think I've made my opinion known. Less skank! More creativity!

Last year, due to my extensive experience in orthopaedics, I decided to dress as an Orthopedic Surgeon. It went over pretty well at the hospital. When I showed Dr. M, my Orthopedic Surgeon, he replied, "I find it humerus that you're actually holding a femur." Oops. Silly bones. Cant' win em all.

This year, I decided to work with my injury and go as "cat with broken paw." (It's incredibly difficult to eat, drink, walk through doorways, and lick your butt while donning the cone of shame, by the way)

Ev says, "Arrr matey!" Dundee says, "F you. This is dumb."

A few brave souls from the Therapies department came to work dressed in costume. This was brilliant, actually. Colleen (Occupational Therapist) and April (Physiotherapist) decided to dress up as Speech Pathologists - me and my co-worker, Heidi, to be exact. I thought they looked fabulous! April even curled her hair and donned not only high heeled boots, (I wore high heels back in my heyday) but she even limped on a crutch all day - now that's dedication!

Finally, not to be outdone by Dundee, Biloxi, the cat, decided to don a costume this year as well. He's a sexy lion, of course. Purrrrrrrrr. Happy Halloween!

I will never ever ever forgive you. Ever.