My body is NOT a wonderland

You know that lovely song by John Mayer, "Your Body is a Wonderland"?? That song sucks. It's stupid. It's making me really angry right now. Screw you John Mayer and your stupid song.

I'm so completely frustrated with my body. I've always worked hard to maintain it - I've prided myself on working out regularly and although I don't follow any particular diet or special way of eating, I definitely try to make healthy choices. I have always been satisfied with my body - not just aesthetically, but I've always been proud of my strength, balance, and endurance. Typically, I would tell my body to do something and it would just do it.

"Body, you're going to figure out how to do a handstand push-up. Go!"
 "No problem, buddy. Watch this!"

Where did that body go, dammit? Now when I look at myself in the mirror I see a body that is not mine - I mean it looks like mine. I can do sit-ups and push-ups until I'm blue in the face, and sure, I look decent in a bikini, which is great for Facebook, right? - but what's the point if I can't do anything with this body? It seems to have a mind of it's own. It doesn't listen to me. It's defiant. I feel like I'm rapidly losing control. Like a parent of a wayward teenager, I've tried to calm it down and love it, but sometimes (like right now), I kinda hate it. The worst part is that I can't get away from it. I would love a vacation from it for just one day, but everywhere I go, it seems to follow me. Stop following me! So annoying.

In the past two weeks, my left knee has deteriorated rapidly. We came to a standstill last week in the Winners parking lot when left knee completely gave up on life at the front mall entrance.

"Dammit left knee, the car is like 10 feet in front of us. Just make it to the car!"

"Nope. I'm done. It's over. You can't expect me to carry you forever. "

SHIT.

After two days of complete and total left knee protest (Read: PAIN!),  I contacted Dr. M and told him Que sera sera wasn't cutting it anymore. He agreed to see me immediately. Why? Because he rocks, that's why. Back on two crutches, I pathetically shuffled into his office.

"Where shall we start?" he sighed, "How about pre-birth? Were you a difficult pregnancy?"

Haha. I actually smiled for a good half a second.

For two hours we talked. I cried. He listened. He talked. I listened. We may have deciphered the meaning of life...we solved some of life's greatest mysteries, I'm sure of it. Then we decided that an MRI was an appropriate move at this time.

So now I'm just waiting for that MRI. I don't really feel a sense of urgency. If it shows what I think it might show, I highly doubt I'll be a candidate for surgery anytime soon - at least until the right knee can take over duties for a while. Maybe it's better not to know? Perhaps it's just suffering from exhaustion - you know, like a rockstar on tour. It just needs a good break...it's like Britney Spears in 2007...and If Brit can get through 2007 in one piece, then so can this fricken knee (if you spot me with a shaved head, trying to smash people with umbrellas, you'll know exactly what's happening)  :)