It was real - farts and all.

Ev and I are celebrating our 8th year of wedded bliss this week. We started dating at age 17 which makes for a grand total of 17 years. That's like half our lives, people! I love being married to Evan. I think Ev is intelligent, extremely driven, exciting, and possesses this wicked quiet/sarcastic sense of humour. And after all these years, we really do have a lot of fun together. After the year we have just endured, I can say with certainty that Ev has definitely lived up to his marriage vows - you know the ones about "in bad" and "in sickness." I think that if I could offer one tip for single peeps out there, I would recommend that you choose a mate that will be there for you during the really challenging times. Anyone can stick it out during the good; the bad, on the other hand, is a different story. It's just too easy to run away. Ev has made it clear that he is here to stay. He waited for me. He stuck it out through those months where I was completely disconnected from him and the world around me. When I hear the lyrics to Mumford & Sons, "I will wait for you," I always think of my buddy, Ev, patiently waiting for me to return to life. It couldn't have been easy for him.

I am very happy and content to be a married woman but I do have a few friends who are single and the single life always intrigues me. Sometimes it sounds kind of exciting - but extremely complicated as well.  For example, how do you know when you're monogamous? Do you wait for the "in a relationship" status update on facebook or is it official once he's tagged you in a photo? Perhaps once he's retweeted you on twitter? And did you know that there are implicit dating rules? According to reliable sources, once you're headed out on that magical third date, you'd better be prepared to get down to business (if you know what I mean, wink wink). Wow. I would so suck at dating. Not only would I be unbelievably awkward ("So, like date 3, huh? Do we drink first? eat dinner? When does this all go down? Should I just take all my clothes off?"), but I would have no idea how to even find a guy to date. My radar for finding good, interested guys for romantic purposes is completely out of service. My radar would look like the giant cell phones from the 90's that came in a massive carrying bag. Case in point, a few months back, I was quite certain that this one guy was making advances towards me. I met him briefly and he was quite flirtatious and said something charming about my back (warning sign: if a guy's interested, he's NOT looking at your back). I was definitely a little high on my Rx meds at the time, but I kinda enjoyed the harmless attention and it was flattering that an attractive man appeared to be interested in me. I soon found out that this guy was gay - like lives with his boyfriend gay. He was only being nice to me. He probably felt sorry for me. He was not flirting with me. I also heard that he's a total asshole. So my radar managed to pick a gay jerk. See? I am totally clueless.

Ev and I started dating in Feb of our grade 12 year in high school. Initially, we hung in large groups of friends and always kind of gravitated towards each other. I wasn't sure if he was more than just a friend, but I suspected that perhaps he was interested in me romantically, so one night, I set a "trap."

My first glimpse of Ev 

While watching a movie at a friends house, I asked Ev to help me get the popcorn off the top shelf. In my warped mind, if he reached in behind me and touched me/brushed up against me as he retrieved the popcorn, then it was obvious that he was "so into me." (keep in mind, my only dating reference at age 17 was YM magazine). Ev glanced at the top shelf, politely shoved me to the side, and grabbed the popcorn. No touching. No romance. It was dead. Dammit. (Hilarious looking back, knowing that Ev is just not THAT guy who engages in top shelf, reach around groping).

So I kind of gave up on the idea of dating Ev and continued to hang out with him as friends.

One day; however, something changed. I can't put my finger on it. I'm not sure if it was a phone conversation or just a gradual change of feelings, but I knew I was interested and it was apparent that Ev was interested as well. Ev's interest was confirmed when I arrived late to a party and all my friends were approaching me excitedly, "Evan Lindsay has been asking about you all night." Yes! Sweet! Score!

We made plans for a first date. The original Star Wars was back in theatres. I didn't give a shit about the movie, I just desperately wanted to sit close to Evan Lindsay. Ev picked me up in his little silver Mazda 626. It was a cold February night. We chatted easily on the way to the theatre, when suddenly, Ev rolled down the window, "It's kind of hot in here!" he claimed. Um Ok. I found out a year later that he was so nervous that he farted. Bahhahahaha. Totally romantic. As I gazed into his panicky green eyes, I had no clue that he was trying to distract from his scent.

Once seated in the packed theatre, we sat awkwardly next to each other while I watched Ev tortuously attempt to hold my hand for 2 1/2 hours. He would slowly sneak his hand about a millimeter within mine - so close -  and then pull away, take a drink, turn and smile. Repeat.  It was agonizing. 2 1/2 hours!!!

Once the movie was over, Ev dropped me off at my mom's house and stood staring at me in the foyer with a silly little grin on his face. We were out of things to say. We were silently staring (uncomfortably) at each other and I just really wanted to kiss this guy. He never made a move. He just stood there grinning awkwardly. Finally, I looked at him and said, "Ok, I really want to kiss you." So we kissed. It was the best kiss I've ever had. I still get butterflies thinking about that awesome kiss 17 years ago. It was respectful. It was sweet. It really was the perfect kiss. I think I sported this goofy lovesick grin on my face for about a year after that kiss. In fact, I'm sporting it right now just thinking about it.

We then sat on the second step of my mom's stairs and talked for hours about our hopes and dreams. I knew that this guy was special. I knew he was different. I felt an intense connection with him. That night, Ev missed his curfew (the Raider hockey team had strict curfew for 10pm) and willingly paid the $100 fine to sit on that step and talk to me. Awesomeness.

That's really the only dating experience I have. It was pretty simple - no facebook to check for a change in relationship status, no texting to "safely" flirt before boldly trying it in person, no twitter to investigate the tweets. It was just two people trying to figure out if they fit into each other's lives. It was real, farts and all, and I wouldn't have it any other way.