Yo Shorty....It's My Birthday

It's my birthday! I've always loved birthdays and I find birthdays the perfect time for reflection. Let's be honest, my last 2 birthdays, although filled with well wishes and love from friends and family, kinda sucked. On my 33rd birthday, I was preparing for my first surgery - a simple meniscal repair - or so I thought. Little did I know that in few weeks time, Dr M would discover that my cartilage was a mess and life, as I knew it, would change. I had no idea what was in store for me, nor did I have any interest in finding out.

A year ago, on my 34th birthday, I had just underwent my 3rd knee surgery and was gearing up for the "experimental" cartilage transplant, which was slated in a month's time. The reality of my situation had completely sunk in and I felt totally dependent on my mom, Evan, and Dr. M to lead me through. I was slightly hopeful; however, I was heavily medicated and, to be honest, didn't feel much other than pain and fear. It was overwhelming to me that I was a whole year older, yet life seemed to be whizzing past me as I hobbled around on my crutches and my cane.  I felt like I was behind left behind. It makes me incredibly sad to think about it, so let's move on to this year ASAP (Tears are rolling down my face..must. move. on. to. next. paragraph!)

Today (phew!), I feel pretty damn good. I am 35. I can walk. I can dance. I am getting stronger. I am happy. My confidence is improving daily. My head is clear. I am hopeful. The future looks bright. I've come so far!

I was tested. My marriage to Evan was tested. My relationships with friends and family were tested. Although I wouldn't choose to relive the last 2 years, nor would I wish them on anyone, that was the path that I was placed on and I was in the right place at the right time to cope with the challenges I faced. Five years ago, Evan and I made a choice to move back to Prince Albert. It wasn't our fantasy. It wasn't glamorous to relocate back to our "hometown," but we decided that it was the best place for us at that time. Little did we know that our decision to move back was going to be critical in the years to come. Having my family close, my therapies department co-workers by my side, and finally, finding Dr. M, my trusty surgeon and confidant, were vital to my recovery.

I don't know what the future holds. At some point I will be tested again... but the fear that once consumed me is dissipating. I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be. I'm realistic that I'll continue to face knee struggles along the way - but it no longer dictates my choices or prevents me from living and loving life. I fell hard, I fought hard and am presently being rewarded with happiness and opportunity. Bring on 35!