Frostbite? No thanks, had that for breakfast

Warning: this is an overly dramatic post because THAT's the kind of mood I'm in. As I write this, I am eating raw brownie batter from a bowl and drinking wine out of a box - I may have mixed a painkiller in there as well...You have been warned. 

So it's cold. It's so cold that it's completely necessary and appropriate to use the "f word" in all caps as an adjective to describe the cold. It's really FUCKING cold. For those of you who don't live in a bitterly cold environment, it's difficult to communicate to you just what -60 degrees Celsius with a windchill feels like. Let me try. Ever hear of frostbite? You know, where like your face or toes freeze, turns blue, and falls off. Frostbite is not even the main concern anymore. Frostbite is imminent. It's a daily occurrence. It's just a way of life, "Hey Bob, looks like you got a little frostbite walking from your car into work. Might wanna get that looked at. Frostbite amputations are at 10 this morning in the boardroom." You see, at -60 degrees what we should be worried about is the state of our internal organs. Don't they stop working when the temperature is no longer safe for human habitation? Like, humans can't survive on Jupiter, right? "Someone" deemed Jupiter unsafe. What makes us think we can survive this? Don't quote me on that one, but I swear to god, I felt my right lung freeze up yesterday when I attempted to inhale this so called "air" (Is it really oxygen anymore if it's frozen?) So you catch my drift - it's FUCKING cold and at this moment, I have NO idea why I make a conscious decision to live here. Obviously, I am an idiot.

You know who else really hates the cold (other than Dundee, the dog, who is now on a pee strike until the temp warms to -30)??? My knee cartilage. The poor cartilage is so traumatized that we are living in such an abrasive climate, that it has begun shocking me again with the tazer-like vibrations that run violently under my kneecap and almost cause me to pee my pants every 20 minutes. And I can't even blame the Biebs this time. Shitty. It's especially frustrating because the knee was so solid on our holiday in Bali. It loved the hot, humid weather. It walked, it swimmed, it climbed stairs, and I even took it surfing! It felt great and did wondrous things for my confidence. It has the potential of being a really stable, dependable knee. I just need to sort out the recipe of climate, activity, and diet (perhaps?), that maximizes its potential. -60; however, is not conducive to healing/functioning/thriving of any sort for man or machine.

To my fellow Saskatchewanians  Saskatchewanites friends from Saskatchewan: Congratulations on continuing to function - working, buying groceries, breathing, etc despite the fact that if NASA landed here, they would deem this arctic tundra "unfit for human habitation." Carry on. Good luck. Stay warm. Only 78 more days until the May long weekend.